Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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