smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
honey bunches of taint.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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