Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
