All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Welp...herpes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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