Already got asked if we're dating
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's official drugs can't kill me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
