Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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