wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
