i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
