the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
