pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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