His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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