They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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