Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
