I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
