My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There's even glitter on my cock...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
