Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
