You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
