Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
