we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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