these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
