I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
