At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
