he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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