i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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