idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it's great music for shaving your balls
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
