Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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