Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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