How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
