Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
