Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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