Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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