then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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