she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
