Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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