I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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