i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
