I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
