then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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