Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
