i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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