My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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