Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
