He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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