and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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