Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize