franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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