What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
