i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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