Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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