Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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