Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
