Its about making memories worth repressing
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
