Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
