I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
