I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
