You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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