It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
