I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
