people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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