I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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