Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
