We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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