We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
