Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
