he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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