Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
